I Asked…I Answered: Week 9

How has blogging changed your view of yourself? How do you feel about these changes?

I have some major self-esteem issues, stemming from my childhood. A large portion of these issues pertain to body image and my physical features in particular. These issues haven’t been helped by my thyroid disease, which spurred weight gain (even though I eat much healthier and get more exercise than I used to; did you know I quit soda in June 2009 and caffeine and snack cakes almost a year ago?) and hair loss.

For me, beauty blogging isn’t just about posting pretty pictures and waiting for compliments to roll in. It’s about me learning to accept myself, accept my body, and accept that there is perfection and purpose in my flaws. It’s about me being comfortable enough with myself, my body, and my face in all of its crookedness (admittedly I know how to take pictures to minimize that). It’s a work in progress, and I think it always will be, but I can say with absolute certainty that I wasn’t this comfortable with myself a year and a half ago, before I started.

I have only recently began to actually discuss my childhood abuse and bullying online; my coping mechanism of choice tends to be ignoring the problem. I’m not going to get into specifics here and now, but fellow survivors, please feel free to contact me if you want to talk.

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~ by shatteredshards on March 1, 2011.

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